Anger.
If you’re struggling with anger, we’re here to help. On this page, we’ll explore some basics of what anger is, where it comes from, potential causes of an anger problem, and some “first aid” steps to take to start to address the problem.
The Experience of Anger
When we think of anger, we often think of explosive outbursts of rage; yelling, throwing things, pointing fingers, and slamming doors. While this is one expression of anger, it is not the only one. The subtle frustrations, irritations, and annoyances of daily life capture another expression of anger. This one looks like eye rolls, complaints, huffs-and-puffs, and plenty of uttering “Ugh!” What about this one: the stone-cold, silent, expressionless, brooding anger that stays under the surface…or so you think. Or another: the underlying bitterness that just lingers unnoticed for years and years. Maybe you’re just always angry at yourself under the surface, and this anger comes out in perfectionism, critical self-talk, and impatience
What is anger? I mean, what is it really, underneath the experience of shaking fists and high blood pressure? In short, anger is the perception of injustice or a violation of personal desires. Anger says, “Something’s wrong.” Like the itchy skin irritated by a clothing tag, the sensation is alerting you, saying, “Hey, I don’t like this! Do something!” Here's a few more things that anger is:
Anger is from God
God has plenty of anger. He has anger because He has love. He loves certain things, like people, justice, righteousness, life, and unity. When evil works against these, He experiences anger.
Because God has anger, we have anger, that we also may identify when something is working contrary to God’s good design. Anger can be a helpful tool to identify something wrong and work constructively to renew it or solve the problem. The “issues” in “anger issues” only come when sin gets involved.
Anger is from your heart
Anger comes from within. It comes when the desires and values of your heart. Whether you’re ashamed of your anger or feel like it’s your only defense, that anger has something informative to tell you.
Let’s patiently listen in to see what your anger is saying about your heart and about what you perceive in the world around you.
Anger is bodily
Like other emotions, you experience anger in your body. It’s not purely an intangible state. Why does this matter? Your experience of anger is influenced by your body, so it can be wise to engage your anger physically, in addition to emotionally and spiritually.
Anger can be righteous or sinful
Your anger does not need to be squashed, but redeemed. If your anger can accord with God’s values, be saturated with His character, and act using His designated methods, your anger will be a productive tool for His kingdom.
Sadly, as fallen, sinful people, our anger is scarcely so constructive. If your anger has more to do with self-orientation and pride than it does with zeal for God’s reputation and purposes in the world, then that is an indication of sinful anger. If you act hatefully or destructively in your anger, this too is an indicator of sinful anger. Bitterness, rage, impatience, unkindness, condemnation, slander, and otherwise falling short of the fruits of the Spirit are sin.
Possible Causes
These are not diagnostics or mutually exclusive categories. This is not a comprehensive list or a sufficient tool to determine causes of anger. Rather, these categories and questions are meant to spark self-reflection, curiosity, and further exploration about what might be underlying your struggle with anger.
Physical malady
- Are you regularly experiencing the sensations of anger, but don’t know what you’re angry about? Are you having other physical symptoms that could cause aggravated (anger-like) sensations? Did your anger start alongside or after physical strain? If any of these are true of you, a biological problem may be playing a significant role in your anger.
- How are your sleeping, eating, physical activity, and social habits? While these are unlikely to cause the experience of anger on their own, they may influence the severity of the experience.
Unresolved sadness
- Have you experienced a traumatic event? Have you lost someone significant to you? Have your hopes or expectations for the future been lost? Have you been sinned against and feel hurt? If you’re experiencing grief or hurt, the sadness from these may be expressing itself in anger.
Self-protective fear
- Is your anger provoked in situations where you feel unsafe? In moments of anger, do you feel a need to defend yourself or others? Does anger feel like a shield or an essential tool, without which you are in harm’s way? Your anger may be an expression of fear.
Lingering unforgiveness
- Do you ruminate on a circumstance when you were sinned against or harmed in some way? In moments of anger, does your mind drift back to a person or situation? Do you feel outrage, disgust, or bitterness? Is irritation at a particular person quickly kindled? While some of these can be expressions of hurt or “unresolved sadness” (particularly after a traumatic event), in other cases these may indicate a state of unforgiveness.
Desperation (idolatrous desire)
- Do you feel quickly provoked when your plans, ideas, or preferences are hindered? In your most recent experience of anger, was your comfort, preference, or reputation being threatened? Were you trying to control something or someone in that moment? Is your anger less directed at a particular person, and more directed at anything that stands in the way of what you want? Your anger may be coming from a desire (maybe a desire for a good thing) that has become a demand. While some of these can be expressions of self-protective fear (such as in the context of an oppressive relationship), in other cases these may indicate that good gifts have become objects of worship.
Despair in suffering
- Do you feel resigned or hopeless because of ongoing hardship? Do you feel tired of the struggle to overcome something? Do you feel generally angry about your life’s circumstances? Do you feel anger at God for the troubles you’re facing? Do you struggle to find hope? You may be experiencing despair in suffering.
Perception of injustice
- Do you feel angry on the behalf of others? Do you see injustice, oppression, or other violations of human rights? Do you feel like God is being dishonored or His values are being violated? You may be experiencing a righteous perception of injustice.